MY JOURNEY with vulva insecurity: from labia Loather to labia lover
If you’re like me and you’ve had a rough relationship with your vulva, you’re not alone.
I used to only have sex in dim lighting, tuck my flaps in when I was naked around friends and hold my flaps apart in doggy so they didn’t hang down. I used to dread getting naked in front of new sexual partners and do everything I could to make sure they couldn’t get a close up view of my vulva.
these unhealthy coping mechanisms were so distracting from the actual sex, that I was rarely present or actually enjoying myself.
I was so preoccupied by the insecurity that I would experience frequent urges to grab a pair of scissors and chop them off.
A labiaplasty seemed like the only way this “problem” could be fixed. Thankfully, I started to realise that I didn’t need to get a major surgery to love my vulva, I just needed to reprogram my brain to establish new, healthy belief systems about my body (which is what I teach you in the membership).
After years of dedicated healing work, I can proudly say I have overcome vulva insecurity. This doesn’t mean I don’t have the odd unhelpful thought pop up from time to time, because I certainly do. But what’s changed is that now I can quickly dissolve a negative thought and prevent it from spiralling.
My relationship with my vulva is so strong that negative vulva-thoughts no longer affect the quality of my sex life or my self-confidence.
My journey inspired me to create this membership, a safe sanctuary for us to gather in community to heal along side one another.
It took me YEARS to overcome vulva insecurity because I did it without help, but you’re going to get get a solid start in only a matter of MONTHS.
School of blood slut presents
The Outie Sanctuary membership
The membership for folks with outies and vulva insecurity who desire to build a loving relationship with their vulva.
Facilitated by Sexologist Gem Campbell who specialises in overcoming vulva and labia insecurity.
Gem has been through this healing journey firsthand, so you’re in experienced hands.
The Outie Sanctuary will support you to:
Build your self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence
Develop coping skills for moments when an unhelpful vulva thought pops up
Feel more gratitude and acceptance for your vulva
Have a secure relationship with yourself and your body
Experience less rumination and more helpful thoughts about your vulva
Have more enjoyable sex
Feel comfortable and sexy naked
Have strong discernment in relationships e.g. be able to spot red flags with new sexual partners
No longer give a f*** about appeasing the male gaze to live your life free from pleasing men
Communicate assertively so you can firmly stand up for yourself
ABOUT THE MEMBERSHIP
It’s completely virtual, all live calls are on Zoom.
You choose either a 6 or 10 month membership - you will need at least 6 months of consistent healing work to walk away feeling more secure.
You will pay in monthly instalments (AUD $66/month).
You can join anytime, no official start date.
Check out the FAQ’s at the bottom of this page.
What you get inside the membership:
1x live group Q&A call each month - members bring their questions, dilemmas and concerns to the call and Gem offers advice and guidance.
1x live group coaching call each month - members are encouraged to share their experiences and progress with the group and Gem guides members through supportive practices and exercises.
Access to a library of supportive resources including guided audio tracks, educational content, journal prompts and workbooks.
BONUS: Blood Magik online course for free - read about it below.
If you’d like to have a virtual chat before joining, you can book a complimentary discovery call.
Get access to the Outie Sanctuary's growing collection of healing resources, plus live group coaching calls with Gem.
By joining, you are agreeing to the Outie Sanctuary Membership Agreement.
Blood Magik Online course: What you get
module 1: INTRO
Welcome video: details, how to best approach the course, guided embodiment practice, tarot & oracle card readings.
Workbook: Blood hygiene, period sustainability + taboo talk
Audio: Dance as a healing modality
Audio: Self-soothing tools
Audio: Connecting with the Blood Magik entity
Video: Introduction to ecstatic dance
module 2: period culture
Workbook: witch wounds, cultural influence on period beliefs (includes activity)
Connecting with ancestors guided meditation
module 3: FACE THE SHAME
Workbook: How to release & re-frame negative period beliefs and stories (journal prompts and activities)
Cord-cutting and EFT tapping guided meditations
Audio: Opening, activating and healing the throat to heal patriarchal wounds
Video: Relaxing guided embodiment and self-soothing practice
module 4: BLOOD RITUAL & MANIFESTATION
Workbook: How to harness your bleed (period) to listen to your spiritual wisdom and manifest the life you desire
Activity: Connecting with your blood
Videos and audio: How to use menstrual blood for manifestation, creativity and self-expression
Audio: Guided manifestation meditation
Video: Guided dance practice
MODULE 5: BLOOD SLUT
Video: Activating, connecting with & expressing your inner slut, seductress and your sexuality as well as healing slut shame
Video: Self-seduction, self-pleasure & masturbation while bleeding, healing your relationship with and connecting with your vulva & vagina healing
Audio: What it means to be a slut and how to heal slut shame
Closing Video: Breathwork and reflective journaling
module 6: BONUS BITS
Audio: The Moon Cycle - learn how to harness the power of the moon and how it compliments your blood ritual & manifestation practices
Workbook: period physiology & period-self care guide
Video: PMDD & PME educational chat with Sarah Callaghan
Nervous system regulation tools are scattered throughout the modules. In order to have a more pleasurable life and heal, we need to have the skills to regulate and be in a parasympathetic dominant state as much as possible.
FAQ’S
What makes this membership extra special?
I use gender inclusive language and include all genders in my vulva healing work, meaning this is an LGBTQIA+ safe space. Many sex educators and coaches are not educated in this space or they’re TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists) or just straight up transphobes.
I’m neurodivergent and trauma informed which adds yet another layer of depth to my work.
I teach from a place of personal lived experience which I believe is very valuable for you!
All of my programs are sprinkled with light-hearted fun!! We will dance, party, laugh and be our silly-billy selves! In order to get through the mud, we’ve gotta mix it up with some goofy not-so-seriousness.
How long does the membership run for?
You can join for 3 months or 6 months - it’s your choice. The reason I want you to join for at least 3-months is to give you time to re-wire and reprogram your brains belief systems - this can take time. Sustainable healing requires commitment and dedication. If, at the end of your membership you decide you want to come back for a further 3-6 months, you can do so. You can come back and re-join as many times as you like!
Can I join anytime or is there an offical start date?
You can join anytime, there is no offical start date. Although, I do recommend joining ASAP because I will likely increase the price in future. If you currently have the finances, I say go for it, it’s not worth it to delay your healing any longer. It's so easy to avoid doing "the work" to heal shame and insecurity, but trust me once you're inside the membership it will begin to fall away almost instantly bit, by bit.
I'm 16, can I join?
Unfortunately not, this membership is for adults only. I recommend subscribing to my email community in the mean time so you can stay in touch until you are old enough to join. To join, scroll to the bottom of this page. I will hopefully be able to support teens in the future, I am working on that behind the scenes.
What other topics/content does the Blood Magik course offer?
Manifestation, embracing your inner slut and seductress, period culture and healing period shame (goes hand in hand with healing outie and vulva shame). If you can't love your pussy when it's bleeding, how can you ever fully, wholeheartedly love it? Scroll up to read more about Blood Magik.
What if I can’t make the live Zoom calls?
If you can’t make the live Zoom calls, don’t worry they will all be recorded and added to the library for you to watch anytime. I always make sure that as many members as possible can attend the lives.
How much time and effort do I need to put in to maximise positive results?
Turn up to as many live calls as you can, this will add up to ~3-4hrs/month plus homework from the calls which will be ~1hr/month.
If you can’t attend a live make sure to watch the replay ASAP.
Spend at least 1hr/week (can be broken up into 30min sessions) exploring the library content.
Listen to each guided track every day for 1 month to rewire your brain.
Who is the membership for?
Any adult with vulva insecurity who is ready to deeply commit to overcoming their insecurity and healing.
Are trans and gender diverse folks welcome?
Absolutely! I am genderfluid myself. If you are transphobic or a TERF (meaning you do not accept trans/gender diverse people or believe only cis women have vulvas) please do not join this membership.