I Need to Share My Thoughts on Jessi’s Labiaplasty in The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
If you’ve watched the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, you’ll know that MomTok member Jessi had a labiaplasty while they were filming the show. As a Labia Acceptance Coach, I was absolutely livid during the vulva painting scene. In this article I want to unpack Jessi’s language both in this scene and also in a podcast interview she did after the show aired, so without further ado, here are my thoughts.
In the show Jessi uses incorrect anatomical terminology to describe her labia which is literally straight up spreading inaccurate information and further perpetuating the confusion many women and vulva owners feel around their genitals. In Season 1, Episode 6 of the show Jessi describes a labiaplasty as a surgery where they take the “inside of your vagina, the material that’s a little more sensitive and tucks it up inside.” BABE, THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY DO AT ALL!!! A labiaplasty surgery involves the shortening of the labia minora by removing part of them… Perhaps she also had vaginoplasty (a surgery involving the vaginal canal not the labia) and got the two mixed up, but regardless, it’s very embarrassing that her surgeon has not explained this properly to her.
She goes on to say that pregnancy pushes your labia out: WRONG. Your labia can certainly change in colour, size and length after giving birth due to a rise in certain hormones which boost blood flow to your genital area and due to the stretching of the labia tissue, but it doesn’t “push your labia out.” Your labia was never inside you to begin with lol, it’s always been external.
Jessi has shared that her labia changed a lot after giving birth which is why she got the surgery, and although your labia can change a lot after having kids, many folks have had protruding labia minora since childhood. I’ve had a protruding labia since I was in my early teens, before I’d ever used a tampon or had sexual intercourse.
In a podcast interview on the Off the Vine podcast, when sharing about her labiaplasty Jessi says, “they cut my vagina open.” No babe, they snipped off part of your labia minora (inner lips), for f*cks sake!! Language is so fucking important here to help destigmatise the vulva and so that we … ya know… know what our body parts are called!?? She then goes on to say “they cut the meat off, like you know how you have little things inside the flaps? They just like, cut it off.” GIRL, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
For those of you who are like, wait Gem, I thought my labia was part of my vagina??!! Your vagina is a canal inside of your body, you can see your vaginal opening from the outside, but that’s it (unless your vagina is being spread open with a speculum). Your labia is actually a part of your external genitalia i.e. everything you can see. Your external genitalia is called your vulva. This is why I’m always saying: “IT’S VULVA NOT VAGINA!!!!!” ALSO, you actually have two different sets of labia, you have your labia minora (inner lips) which are the ones that Jessi had shortened and you have the labia majora (outer lips) which are the larger ones where pubes grow.
THE UNEDUCATED CHAOS DOESN'T STOP THERE. HELP.
In the podcast interview Jessi then goes on to say “I look like my daughter…I’m like, brand new again!” WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK. And in the tv show she also says “they’re just cutting off some extra meat so my lips are nice and perfect again.” Keep in mind dolls that these women claim to be feminists who uplift women… She's referring to her 30-something-year-old-vulva as “new again” and referring to an innie, ‘tucked-in’ labia as the '“perfect” vulva.
Why are these statements problematic some of you might ask? Plain and simply put: because they’re steeped in misogyny. To refer to your vulva as “brand new again” like your daughters implies that labia stretch or get larger from sexual activity which is not true - this is a misogynist myth that aims to shame outies aka vulvas with long labia minora and deem them as undesirable and ugly.
Jessi is clearly very uneducated when it comes to her genitals and although that’s not her fault (our high school sex ed curriculums failed us there), she really should have fact checked herself and made sure she was using correct anatomical terms before telling millions of people about it. This kinda stuff has an impact - she’s a very famous public figure who many young people would look up to. Imagine how many young women and vulva owners have scheduled a labiaplasty surgery after watching the tv show? Although Jessi did admit her labiaplasty was very painful, she still manages to glamorise the surgery by saying excitedly that her vulva (or as she calls it, vagina) is “brand new again.” She then goes on to say “after pregnancy your lips get looser and everything hangs… and you just look weird…” Okay…..no. Longer, protruding labia don’t look weird, they actually look normal. How insulting to people who naturally have longer labia??? Her longer labia seem to have come about due to child birth but she doesn’t seem to realise she’s offended the millions of folks who have had longer labia since puberty…again she’s very uneducated on the diversity of vulvas that exist, further stigmatising outies.
I don’t want to shame Jessi for sharing her labiaplasty journey, I think it’s great that celebrities are speaking openly about intimate surgeries, however, I do believe that she could have gone about it in a much better way. She does mention that her longer labia were uncomfortable, and I am all for folks getting a labiaplasty for increased comfort, but she really didn’t have to keep going on about how her pussy looked brand new again and perfect now that the “extra meat” is gone. She could have said “I decided to get this surgery because I wanted to, but that doesn’t mean you have to get it if you also have longer labia.” Or: “Longer labia are perfectly healthy and normal but for me I found them uncomfortable and decided to get them shortened.” That should have been the BARE MINIMUM, but instead she took her uneducated ass onto a tv show that’s viewed by hundreds of millions of people and spread inaccurate information.
If you’re considering a labiaplasty purely for aesthetic reasons or you’re feeling insecure about your vulva in any way, you can check out my free vulva connection meditation that’ll support you with establishing a healthy relationship with your vulva.